hi
I think you’re absolutely wonderful, and smart, and honest, and sexy, and so good for me
you don’t look at me with eyes that tell me you just wanna fuck, you look at me like you’re really trying to figure me out
Well good luck
I hope this works out
grow the fuck up
never in my life, (and still to this day) have I ever been physically attracted to a girl.
but i had feelings for you. real, genuine feelings.
miss you like crazy pretty girl.
where are you?
I’m so sorry.
i. like. you.
you’re really something
drives
me
crazy
I was with a boy for two years head over heals. I swore on everything I would never be able to feel that for someone else. Then I met you. You were different made me feel like I could do anything. You didn’t care what people thought, you did whatever you wanted, you got whatever you wanted. It just worked for you. I never met anyone like you. I thought you were genuine, I truly did believe that. It had only been 2 months that I’d known you and you had me WRAPPED around your finger. You were just what i had been looking for, even though I hadn’t been looking at all. Idk how you did it. But I fell for you, hard and fast. And it all meant nothing to you. Hurt me so fucking bad. I didn’t dwell though, I still think about you sometimes. Always hope you’re doing well. I was crazy about you, you know. And maybe that was my first mistake.
when i pass you in the hall my mood can go from 10 to like -577639767 in a matter of 2 seconds
i told you im having a bad day and you dyou drove here from derby. i love you.
i love you so fucking much it hurts,
you taught me to ride my bike, to tie my shoes. you got me my first pet. i walked my first steps to you. you tucked me in at night. i was your little girl. you watched me grow up.
As i watched you fall down.
it’s unbelievable that at one point in my life i called you dad.
i don’t even know what to think anymore. Everything I knew was shattered right in front of my face. Values morals rules broken. All for what? you lost it, i don’t even see hope in your eyes, happy in your smile. its like glass. every emotion fake. just a front to get through the day. i would like to say sorry for giving up on you, but i cant. it’s better for me and everyone knows it. i poured my heart and soul into fixing you and you wanted nothing to do with it, nothing to do with me.
you hurt me more than a father should be capable. i hope one day you get help, and you can love again. i’d like to see you the man that i knew.
i wish i could forget it all. i wish i wasn’t haunted with these memories. i wish you didn’t fuck up so bad.
i remember when it was just me, you, zachary, and jacob. I was in preschool. you would give me a sticker of an angel if you felt i had done well at school that day. that was the last time i felt like i was important to you.
You taught me to love myself, to hate myself.
You taught me to love. To hate: in general.
Our relationship was out of the ordinary. It came with all the regular stuff, but was filled with so much more. The trip was the highest high, the lowest low. Butterflies in my tummy, electric shock. We fought, but we were the cliche kids in love. I couldn’t picture myself without you. I felt like I needed you. To be happy. To make it through the day. To breathe. To live. Everything about you was so perfect to me. No matter what was going on in my life, you did this thing where you looked at me and my whole world would stop and nothing else would matter.
you broke me into pieces, made me vulnerable, made me dependent. made me hate myself. made me crazy.
made
me
stronger
i could apologize a million times for hurting you the way I did. It would never change it. I could never change the course our relationship took.
i would’nt ever change it. i wouldn’t take back a thing. you made me feel like i was someone, at the same time you would tear me apart. And you’d try to tape me back together, but that didn’t fix a thing. I was still broken, and insecure on the inside. Love should not be that way.
some days you loved me
some days you wanted nothing to do with me
NOTHING WAS CONSISTENT IN MY LIFE
maybe you couldn’t handle that. that i depended on you. i shouldn’t have done it in the first place, but i knew nothing else. you were the only consistent thing in my life for almost a year and a half prior
the times i needed you most you weren’t there.
eventually i stopped depending on you, naturally. i stopped calling you when I was sad. I stopped waiting for you to text me good morning. i stopped expecting you to tell me you missed me. i stopped expecting you to make time for me. i stopped trying, the way you had been the whole time we were together. And after pretending i didn’t care for so long, i began to not care. turn to other things, other people. you felt what i felt the entire relationship. NO. i do not believe you deserve it, but i can’t help it. i just couldn’t pretend shit was the same anymore.